Why Would You Need Premarital Counseling?
April 14, 2025|Wedding Plan
Some couples think premarital counselling is unnecessary since they get along well. But there is more to a marriage relationship than that. Let’s dive into what premarital counseling is and why you might consider attending.
You and your intended life partner are so in love! You hardly ever disagree on anything! Those trivial things that get under your skin right now will iron themselves out after you are married – right?
Hi! I am Sabrina Camacho, welcome to the channel! I am a wedding officiant/celebrant ordained and licensed nationally - but I live and work in the San Antonio Texas and surrounding areas. I make these YouTube videos to answer many of the questions that I receive from the couples that I work with. If you have a question, please put it down in the comments. I read all your comments, and you may see your question in a future video.
Premarital counseling is a time for couples to engage with each other on a deeper level and develop strategies for healthy communication, as well as making a “preemptive strike” against issues that may come up in your marriage in the future. It helps define our core beliefs, helps us set realistic expectations for our marriage, helps us plan for the future, as well as deciding the ways in which your lives will be merged.
When interviewing couples who underwent premarital counseling, 92% of them say it helped their marriage get off to a strong start. 80% said it was still effective for them four years later! Marriage success was 30% higher for those couples, as well. It appears that premarital counseling does provide long term benefits to couples.
Here in Texas, there is a 72 hour “cooling off” period after applying for your marriage license before you may wed. that may be waived if the couple has attended premarital counseling within the last year (or is active-duty military, or a DoD employee, or has a signed court order), it also provides $60.00 off the cost of their marriage license.
There are basically six reasons to attend premarital counseling.
First, it allows us to discuss expectations we may hold on to that may be unrealistic. “Dating” is so much different than that settling into “married life.” What kind of continuing marriage relationship do we expect? What about parenting any children? Do we even want children? What about our careers? Jobs? Moving for various reasons? Couples need to have these crucial decisions or discussions to enter this marriage with realistic expectations.
Secondly, we will learn how to practice healthy communication - actively listening to each other to fully understand what the other is saying about their inner experience. Learn to listen - and not use the time your partner is speaking to be thinking of your response. There are three steps for active listening:
1. State your wish clearly and calmly to your partner and make eye contact.
2. Say how you would feel if you this need is met by your partner, and
3. Each of you repeat what you heard from the other. Do not rush to respond. Repeat first.
Next, we understand that there will be conflicts at some point. We need to learn to listen and validate each other's feelings and see things from their point of view when there is a disagreement. Take accountability for your part in the conflict and discuss what behavior changes we each need to make.
Number four is allowing freedom for autonomy in our relationship, inclusion, exclusion, self-identity, responsibility, religious beliefs, etcetera. A trained counselor helps support the discussion of issues couples face as they enter into this marriage. A couple might disagree or agree with certain statements, but the main goal is to listen to the needs that are expressed for each choice. Statements like, “it doesn't matter which of us makes more money, it's all ours anyway” or “those who are paying for XYZ should have the final say in those decisions”. Partners should talk openly about various statements like these.
Five, we need to explore the fact that emotional patterns are handed down in families just like physical traits are. People can inherit debilitating anxiety or a strange obsession, which can affect important relationships in the future. Your therapist may use a family diagram or a genogram, which reveals patterns of behavior through different generations of the family. It helps us make decisions about patterns we choose to keep and which we wish to work to change.
Lastly, number six, other challenging topics like money management. Many times, we have developed a subconscious belief about how our financial life will look. These beliefs are often created by our families and friends, society, and gender-related expectations. But rarely are these expectations talked about. Talking about sexual expectations, intimacy, desire, and affection is crucial so that couples have a realistic expectation of their sex life in the long haul.
Cost: well, insurance does not typically cover the cost of couples therapy, but some cover premarital therapy.
Most couples spend months planning the wedding day, but barely any time preparing for marriage itself. That’s why I’m excited to share a resource I recommend to all of my couples: the Premarital Essentials Program.
This self-paced online course is an affordable and accessible alternative to traditional counseling. It’s filled with thought-provoking videos, questions, and prompts to help you deepen your connection, align your values, and prepare for a strong and lasting marriage.
Here’s what you’ll love:
* No counselor required
* Move at your own pace
* Discuss real-life topics that matter
Use code SABRINA20 at checkout for 20% off!
It’s one of the best investments you can make in your relationship. Click Here Now
· Better Help begins at $65 a week and it is online as of 2024.
· A secular counselor is going to run you about $50.00 to $175 per hour
· Church affiliated sessions are $25 to $125.00 an hour, but church members may be free.
· Group seminars also that will be $100 to $300 for one session.
· First Baptist Church San Antonio on McCullough Ave. has a one-day “Twogether in Texas” marriage preparation event.” Register at FBCSA.org/SuperSaturday
I truly hope that you found something of use to you today. There are some more resources down in the description box along with a reading list.
It would help me immensely if you would LIKE this blog and COMMENT below - especially if you have questions for me or a suggestion for an upcoming blog topic. Feel free to forward this blog to those who feel can relate to the topic and SUBSCRIBE by clicking that button and be notified when I upload a new blog post.
Until next time my warmest wishes to you all!
Rev. Sabrina
CITATIONS:
https://marriage.com “Premarital Counseling: 10 Benefits of Couples Therapy”; “Premarital Counseling: How It Works and What to Expect” by Shereen El Gazzar, MFT https://choosingtherapy.com/premarital-counseling OR search “Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists” for your community.
SUGGESTED FURTHER READING:
Husbands and Wives
“The Power of a Praying Husband/Wife” by Stormie Omartian
“Married for God: Making Your Marriage the Best It Can Be” by Christopher Ash
“Vertical Marriage: The One Secret That Will Change Your Marriage” by Dave & Ann Wilson
What Did You Expect? Redeeming the Realities of Marriage” by Paul Tripp
“The Overthinking in Relationships Fix: Toxic Thoughts That Can Destroy Your Relationship and How to Fix Them” by Rodney Noble
Relationships with In-Laws
“Making Room for Her: Biblical Wisdom for a Healthier Relationship with Your Mother-in-Law or Daughter-in-Law” by Barbara and Stacy Reaoch
“The Mother-in-Law Dance: Can Two Women Love the Same Man and Still Get Along?” by Annie Chapman
“Toxic In-Laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage” by Susan Forward, PhD.
Family
“Impress Faith on Your Kids” by Mark Holmen
“The Power of a Paying Parent” by Stormie Omartian
“Love and Respect in the Family” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
You and your intended life partner are so in love! You hardly ever disagree on anything! Those trivial things that get under your skin right now will iron themselves out after you are married – right?
Hi! I am Sabrina Camacho, welcome to the channel! I am a wedding officiant/celebrant ordained and licensed nationally - but I live and work in the San Antonio Texas and surrounding areas. I make these YouTube videos to answer many of the questions that I receive from the couples that I work with. If you have a question, please put it down in the comments. I read all your comments, and you may see your question in a future video.
Premarital counseling is a time for couples to engage with each other on a deeper level and develop strategies for healthy communication, as well as making a “preemptive strike” against issues that may come up in your marriage in the future. It helps define our core beliefs, helps us set realistic expectations for our marriage, helps us plan for the future, as well as deciding the ways in which your lives will be merged.
When interviewing couples who underwent premarital counseling, 92% of them say it helped their marriage get off to a strong start. 80% said it was still effective for them four years later! Marriage success was 30% higher for those couples, as well. It appears that premarital counseling does provide long term benefits to couples.
Here in Texas, there is a 72 hour “cooling off” period after applying for your marriage license before you may wed. that may be waived if the couple has attended premarital counseling within the last year (or is active-duty military, or a DoD employee, or has a signed court order), it also provides $60.00 off the cost of their marriage license.
There are basically six reasons to attend premarital counseling.
First, it allows us to discuss expectations we may hold on to that may be unrealistic. “Dating” is so much different than that settling into “married life.” What kind of continuing marriage relationship do we expect? What about parenting any children? Do we even want children? What about our careers? Jobs? Moving for various reasons? Couples need to have these crucial decisions or discussions to enter this marriage with realistic expectations.
Secondly, we will learn how to practice healthy communication - actively listening to each other to fully understand what the other is saying about their inner experience. Learn to listen - and not use the time your partner is speaking to be thinking of your response. There are three steps for active listening:
1. State your wish clearly and calmly to your partner and make eye contact.
2. Say how you would feel if you this need is met by your partner, and
3. Each of you repeat what you heard from the other. Do not rush to respond. Repeat first.
Next, we understand that there will be conflicts at some point. We need to learn to listen and validate each other's feelings and see things from their point of view when there is a disagreement. Take accountability for your part in the conflict and discuss what behavior changes we each need to make.
Number four is allowing freedom for autonomy in our relationship, inclusion, exclusion, self-identity, responsibility, religious beliefs, etcetera. A trained counselor helps support the discussion of issues couples face as they enter into this marriage. A couple might disagree or agree with certain statements, but the main goal is to listen to the needs that are expressed for each choice. Statements like, “it doesn't matter which of us makes more money, it's all ours anyway” or “those who are paying for XYZ should have the final say in those decisions”. Partners should talk openly about various statements like these.
Five, we need to explore the fact that emotional patterns are handed down in families just like physical traits are. People can inherit debilitating anxiety or a strange obsession, which can affect important relationships in the future. Your therapist may use a family diagram or a genogram, which reveals patterns of behavior through different generations of the family. It helps us make decisions about patterns we choose to keep and which we wish to work to change.
Lastly, number six, other challenging topics like money management. Many times, we have developed a subconscious belief about how our financial life will look. These beliefs are often created by our families and friends, society, and gender-related expectations. But rarely are these expectations talked about. Talking about sexual expectations, intimacy, desire, and affection is crucial so that couples have a realistic expectation of their sex life in the long haul.
Cost: well, insurance does not typically cover the cost of couples therapy, but some cover premarital therapy.
Most couples spend months planning the wedding day, but barely any time preparing for marriage itself. That’s why I’m excited to share a resource I recommend to all of my couples: the Premarital Essentials Program.
This self-paced online course is an affordable and accessible alternative to traditional counseling. It’s filled with thought-provoking videos, questions, and prompts to help you deepen your connection, align your values, and prepare for a strong and lasting marriage.
Here’s what you’ll love:
* No counselor required
* Move at your own pace
* Discuss real-life topics that matter
Use code SABRINA20 at checkout for 20% off!
It’s one of the best investments you can make in your relationship. Click Here Now
· Better Help begins at $65 a week and it is online as of 2024.
· A secular counselor is going to run you about $50.00 to $175 per hour
· Church affiliated sessions are $25 to $125.00 an hour, but church members may be free.
· Group seminars also that will be $100 to $300 for one session.
· First Baptist Church San Antonio on McCullough Ave. has a one-day “Twogether in Texas” marriage preparation event.” Register at FBCSA.org/SuperSaturday
I truly hope that you found something of use to you today. There are some more resources down in the description box along with a reading list.
It would help me immensely if you would LIKE this blog and COMMENT below - especially if you have questions for me or a suggestion for an upcoming blog topic. Feel free to forward this blog to those who feel can relate to the topic and SUBSCRIBE by clicking that button and be notified when I upload a new blog post.
Until next time my warmest wishes to you all!
Rev. Sabrina
CITATIONS:
https://marriage.com “Premarital Counseling: 10 Benefits of Couples Therapy”; “Premarital Counseling: How It Works and What to Expect” by Shereen El Gazzar, MFT https://choosingtherapy.com/premarital-counseling OR search “Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists” for your community.
SUGGESTED FURTHER READING:
Husbands and Wives
“The Power of a Praying Husband/Wife” by Stormie Omartian
“Married for God: Making Your Marriage the Best It Can Be” by Christopher Ash
“Vertical Marriage: The One Secret That Will Change Your Marriage” by Dave & Ann Wilson
What Did You Expect? Redeeming the Realities of Marriage” by Paul Tripp
“The Overthinking in Relationships Fix: Toxic Thoughts That Can Destroy Your Relationship and How to Fix Them” by Rodney Noble
Relationships with In-Laws
“Making Room for Her: Biblical Wisdom for a Healthier Relationship with Your Mother-in-Law or Daughter-in-Law” by Barbara and Stacy Reaoch
“The Mother-in-Law Dance: Can Two Women Love the Same Man and Still Get Along?” by Annie Chapman
“Toxic In-Laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage” by Susan Forward, PhD.
Family
“Impress Faith on Your Kids” by Mark Holmen
“The Power of a Paying Parent” by Stormie Omartian
“Love and Respect in the Family” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
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